You’d think that in my line of work, I’d get enough of the news by the time I get home for the day. But I have a secret passion that I indulge late at night—odd news.
You know, the stuff that’s so weird, it goes international. It may not affect you personally, but it’s worth the read if only for the giggle.
I’m not the only one who enjoys a good, bizarre news story. There are whole Web sites dedicated to the subject, and before there was the Internet, there was the Fortean Times.
Charles Fort is best known for documenting unexplained phenomena in the early 20th century, but the modern Fortean Times includes things like “Leopard causes bathroom mayhem” too.
The best part about reading bizarre news is, it’s actually usually true.
Weird news sites gather their stories from a global variety of sources. After all, bizarre news wouldn’t be bizarre if it happened every day, everywhere. So the compilers look all over the world for their stuff, and being that the world can be a pretty strange place, they generally hit pay dirt pretty consistently.
“Bra proves stronger than a speeding bullet” is the headline of a story that ran on CNN just last Wednesday, Jan. 6, complete with a bulleted (no pun intended) text box of “story highlights,” including:
“• Bullet falls from sky, hits woman in St. Petersburg, Florida
• Bra strap apparently slows projectile enough to limit injury
• Object barely breaks skin, causes ‘big scratch with bruising’”
The article then states: “The .45-caliber bullet struck Debbie Bingham, 46, after someone fired a gun into the air about 20 minutes before midnight. She still needed stitches, but the wound might have been much worse except for the bra strap, police spokesman George Kajtsa said. Bingham, who was in town from Atlanta, Georgia, said she is thankful for the undergarment, which she said was ‘very cheap.’ ‘I'd love to have a couple more of those bras,’ she said.”
You also have the opportunity to click and “Watch how the 'cheap bra' stopped a bullet.” (I didn’t, but I assume CNN had an animator create a slow-motion simulation graphic of the nearly catastrophic, bra-shattering event...)
Weekly World News, eat your heart out. You can’t make up stuff that tops what real life has to offer.
Snakes on a plane? Not very likely. But a threat of scorpions grounded an airplane in Toronto on Monday after a passenger was stung and officials had to comb the plane for possible additional poisonous stowaway arachnids with bad intent, according a Reuters article. It seems to be the week for scorpions, because another man was bitten on a plane Tuesday too, on a flight from Houston to Chicago. Apparently scorpions have fewer problems getting past security than people do.
Did you know that the state of New Jersey is considering striking language that bars “idiots” (as well as “insane” people) from voting? (Bet you didn’t even know they had a law against that, since it clearly isn’t being enforced.) Obviously, it’s an article about how the state’s voting laws need some updating, but it’s still amusing to read.
Want to buy your own country? One is up for sale, though likely it’s already spoken for. The possible sale of Sealand, the world’s smallest country –a WWII-era fort perched on two concrete towers in the North Sea, was detailed by Reuters this week as well.
“...the derelict platform was taken over 40 years ago by retired army major Paddy Roy Bates who went to live there with his family. He declared the platform, perched seven miles off the east coast of England and just outside Britain's territorial waters, to be the principality of Sealand. The self-styled Prince Roy adopted a flag, chose a national anthem and minted silver and gold coins. The family saw off an attempt by Britain’s Royal Navy to evict them and also an attempt in 1978 by a group of German and Dutch businessmen to seize Sealand by force,” reads one part of the article.
The sale price was not disclosed, but with a flag, national anthem and currency, as well as a colorful history, the place has got to be a bargain, even if the country is only comprised of about 16 rooms. It was reported that Bates was approached by a real estate agency with clients “who wanted a bit more than a bit of real estate, they wanted autonomy.” His son praised the country as having quiet neighbors and a “good sea view.”
In Nigeria, a presidential candidate has challenged his critics to a squash match to prove he’s healthy enough to rule the country.
In Australia last week, a credit card was issued to a cat after its owner decided to check the credit card company’s security measures. (The card was cancelled before the feline could run up the balance buying catnip and caviar.)
In France, tourism officials have apparently given up trying to persuade the famously impolite Parisians to be more friendly to tourists and have instead created a Web site that translates various rude gestures for visitors and encourages them to use them while in Paris. “Blend in by using them the next time you’re in Paris. People will start mistaking you for a native in no time,” the article quotes the online guide issued by the Ile-de-France regional committee of tourism, which includes the gesture for “shut up.”
Does making artistic works of one’s butt make one ineligible to teach high school art? Apparently so in Richmond, Va., even if the art is created outside of school time, because the so-called “butt-printing artist” was suspended in December after objections were raised about his private abstract artwork, much of which includes smearing his posterior and genitals with paint and pressing them against canvas. Reportedly, his paintings sell for as much as $900 each on his Web site.
“Weird” news can be, well, pretty weird. But at least it’s real. In a world full of cheap “reality” TV rife with publicity stunts to get attention, there’s something comforting about knowing that real life still exists in print media, and even if it can get pretty strange, at least it’s good for a laugh.
Odd news may be found at various news Web sites, including:
www.forteantimes.com
www.yahoo.com – go to news, click on “odd news”
www.newsoftheweird.com
(Originally published in The Easton News, January 11, 2007)
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