Bush needs to learn basic manners

Okay, admittedly, this may not be as important as so many events that are dominating the international news media right now.

This isn’t even as big, to some minds, as the gaffe with the still-operational microphone that happened to be attached to a still-recording television camera at the G8 summit. (Oops!) Actually, as nationally embarrassing as that incident was, I didn’t really find it all that surprising that the president swears or talks like a bully or perhaps some low-level organized crime figure that is about to graduate the third grade (“Russia’s big and so is China,” is one of the gems our president uttered during the microphone mishap.)—I’ve been hearing it for years from the indy news sources. I’ve seen the video last year of our fearless leader “flipping the bird” to reporters. I’ve seen the video of Dick Cheney telling the Senate Minority Leader to do unprintable things to himself on the floor of the Senate (a couple of years ago). So I know George Bush is no stranger to rude and unclassy behavior and neither are his associates.

But hearing about Bush’s neck rub incident is something I just can’t get out of my head.

For those who haven’t heard about this incident (and that’s easy, since the microphone snafu followed by news of a much more tangible nature, the situation between Israel and Lebanon, quickly replaced it), Bush came up behind German Chancellor Angela Merkel while she was seated at the table with other world leaders and dignitaries at the recent G8 summit and attempted to give her a neck massage. Merkel, understandably, received the president’s overly forward attempt at “friendliness” about as well as if he had dropped a live snake down the back of her neckline. Merkel basically kept her cool, but did throw her arms up in surprise, shaking Bush off. The entire incident was documented by television cameras (Russian, I believe) and is now available for the viewing pleasure of the entire Internet-connected world on YouTube.com.

So why can’t I get this incident out of my head? I’ve known for years and seen it confirmed time and sorry time again that the average hamster could outwit our current president. You’d think I’d just shake my head and file this latest embarrassment with the mountain of other gaffes committed by Bush, along with the considerable pile of “Bushisms.” (Quotes that are usually examples of our president’s sometimes peculiar use of the English language—they’ve grown so numerous, there’s been a daily tear-off daily calendar of them out for multiple years now. And no, I don’t own one.)

The problem is, this is one of those gaffes that tells us a bit about who George W. Bush really is—a man that does not for one minute actually respect women.

How can I know this for sure? Think about it. Men who respect women understand that women hold the same rights as men, and if protocol dictates a certain behavior in a professional setting, then those rules apply equally, regardless of gender.

That said, what guy in his right mind who does respect women would approach the democratically elected leader of a free nation, sized up by gender first, and then decide she looked a little tense and could really benefit from a neck massage, without even asking if that would be a welcome gesture? (I’m assuming he sized up Merkel by gender and that rubbing the neck of, say, Vladimir Putin was not an option here. But hey, maybe I AM assuming too much. Maybe he chose her because he thought it was less likely she’d deck him than Putin. Or, maybe he wanted Putin to stay a little tense.)

Let’s even knock down the scenario a notch...How many guys would get away with giving an unsolicited neck massage to a colleague of the opposite gender during an average business meeting? And how many of those that are so socially backward to try such a maneuver wouldn’t end up attending a polite, but firm educational lecture hosted by their firm’s human resources department educating them on the “do’s and don’ts” of professional behavior in the office?

I don’t think the White House has one of them in mind for the president, unfortunately, but perhaps someone on his staff can educate him on this matter. I’d nominate Condoleezza Rice for the job, but unfortunately, I find myself thinking that Condi is actually the recipient of many neck rubs and that is likely where our president got the idea in the first place that female stateswomen universally like neck massages, especially uninvited ones. Besides, Rice and Bush met in the 90s, when it was Condi’s job to educate Bush on foreign affairs. Since it’s pretty clear she hasn’t been very successful, I’m not thinking Rice is likely to be a successful candidate for this either.

On the other hand, Laura Bush might just be the perfect candidate, and may just be working on that now, if she hasn’t already. While the Merkel incident certainly doesn’t go as far as the problems Bill Clinton had with Monica Lewinsky, a man laying his hands on another woman’s neck (even if she is the Chancellor of Germany) in public isn’t exactly becoming behavior for a guy who’s married, ran on a platform of conservative family values and also claims to be a devout Christian. One can only hope Laura Bush has reminded her husband of this.

‘Cause things are bad enough. It’s pretty scary to have so much power located in the hands of a man who doesn’t even know where his hands belong when he’s having dinner with other world leaders. He should at least master that much before we get to the really scary stuff, like getting involved in putting the pin back in the grenade that is currently the Middle East.

(Originally published in The Easton News, July 27, 2006)